When we look at the gender roles today, it’s clear that many of us are still mirroring the past behaviours of our mothers and grandmothers. We live and behave under a continued presumption that we as women, belong solely in the roles of care givers, healers and subordinates. In this blog I explore how this can be a barrier to self-fulfilment for many women, and how asking the right questions about who we really are can throw open our opportunities and let us find our real selves.

I’m often met with some resistance when I highlight how the patterns of past behaviours continue to shape women, even in today’s society. Some disagree, believing that they’ve broken the shackles of historical gender stereotypes. Things have changed immensely for women in the last 100 years alone, but it goes deeper than that. There is still an expectation, borne from our socialised and enculturated behaviours that a woman’s purpose in life is to serve. It’s a tough pill to swallow. None of us want to believe we are put on this earth with a dictated role to play, but when you start looking at our roles and responsibilities under the microscope, it’s not hard to see who has the most on their plate when it comes to caring for others’ welfare or being the support network that keeps the lives of others functioning at a comfortable level. It’s expected and we do it. We adopt these roles thanks to the subtle and insidious expectations. We are in fact, brainwashed.

What did you want to be when you were a child? A nurse, a vet, a therapist? A vocation that helps and heals? You can see how the conditioning belief that our life’s purpose has to be directly connected to healing, serving and assisting others, is given priority in society rather than little girls just being allowed to explore the other parts of our personalities and ourselves.

And that’s the key – ‘being ourselves’. Finding who you are and what you want can take a long time and sometimes there isn’t a single answer. Acknowledging your true deeper purpose and sense of direction can be a real struggle. It’s a process that requires a whole collection of different practices. We need to be shown how to look within and be guided on the types of questions to ask ourselves. First and foremost, we need to be given the opportunity to look deeper, then given the tools to be able to act on it.

Does this resonate with you? Are you enabled to live YOUR deeper purpose? 

I invite you to start engaging more critically with who you are as a woman, looking at your journey from birth until now, and start looking at how the societal and cultural narratives might have shaped your decisions. In this context, ask yourself.

What do I want?

Who do I want to be?

What do I want my life to be like?

My mission is to help women identify these primary directives, so we can recognise them and dissolve them; to push against what we’re fed by society. To ask these questions but find the true answer

To be critical of the way in which women are socialised is a primary theme of much of my work. I truly believe that major shifts and positive changes occur in the lives of women when they are taught to see beyond the idea that they exist in this world purely to serve. 

One of the most powerful ways to develop women’s empowerment is to connect in a community with other people doing the same work. My year-long mentorship, The Spiritual Life Upgrade, offers a world-changing and life-altering community as well as powerful and training in spiritual practices that allow you to create the life you really want. 

If you would like an opportunity to find out more with zero commitment or expectation, simply drop me an email or book in for a 15min call. If I feel I can radically improve your life and you are a good fit for our amazing group, you’ll be invited to join. 

You can find out more about it here.

Dr Kate Tomas

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